Heaven's Mind Book Series

Why You Envy Creative People

“IAM energized to run to the top of every mountain and shine bright “like a diamond”.

So, put on your shades and stop throwing them at me.”

For as long as I can remember, I have always doodled with pen and paper. Whether it was drawing flowers and female faces or writings lyrics to a song (recorded or original). Doodling was an outward expression of my inner experience. The doodling evolved into singing in the church choir at the age of five and entering the drawing contests found in the back of many young teen magazines or daily newspapers. As a result of singing, I also became an avid conversationalist. Many of my relatives would borrow me for road trips to keep the driver alert and awake. You see I had developed a knack for making up stories and asking questions about topics way above my school grade.

As I got older, I discovered additional ways to express myself; which included sewing, baking, and crafting. When I was around seven years old, I received an “E-Z Bake Oven” for Christmas. I began baking cakes for everyone in my family until they grew tired of eating the cakes. A few years later I received my first sewing machine, the “Sew Perfect” and began making clothes for my dolls. By the time I was in junior high I had learned to cook an entire meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, as well as making an apron, shorts, and a shirt for myself thanks to our Home Economics courses in Junior High.

There was even a period when I permed, washed, and styled hair for my female family members; planned community events; and started a kids and women’s ministry in my church.

Today, I still operate in many of those gifts. I sing with a local band and in my Spiritual Center; IAM a published Author; I write and record original songs and poetry; IAM an Interior Designer; I also design and make pillows, aprons, tabletop art, and custom headboards. However, I stopped baking once my kids were grown and gone.

Every one of these talents, gifts, and abilities were my way of dealing with hurt, pain, and turmoil as well as, celebrating joy, gratitude, and love. It has never been about showing the world what I can do, but more about sharing with the world IAM willing to do. It was never about being boastful but more about being courageous.

Everything we do externally is an outward expression of an internal condition. Everything we do externally and publically becomes the subject matter for criticism, ridicule, judgment and unfortunately envy. Of course, those who are doing the criticizing, ridiculing, and judging or those who become envious are often times those of whom you know and are closest to you.

What I have recently discovered, is that when a person (let’s call them a “Creator”) is willing to bare their soul to the world through the artistic expression, the Observer is forced to take a look inward. The Creator becomes as a mirror to the Observer.

Yes! I said it!!!

Most people prefer a mirror that only reflects their outer appearance and will quickly despise the mirror that reflects their inner condition. When the inner condition is revealed, they may think such things as…

“How dare you force me to look at the dormant gifts, talent, and abilities within me.

How dare you challenge me to be courageous.

How dare you insinuate that I am weak.

How dare you point out my shortcomings and my faults.

I work very hard to look good on the outside, so no one (not even me) knows what’s really going on, on the inside.”

And so, because the Observer can’t bear to be exposed, they criticize, judge, and ridicule the Creator. If unchecked, this type of thinking ultimately manifest as envy.

The Observer then decides that the Creator is the one “in error”, “doing too much”, “bragging”, “boasting”, “showing off”, “wants attention”, or “doing extra”. They may even go so far as to say that the Creator is a “Tortured Soul”.

I say, who is really demonstrating the behavior of a “Tortured Soul”? The Creator who has discovered how to effectively unleash the Soul or Spiritual Inner Being through artistic expression or the one who chooses to stifle theirs?

Now, let’s be clear; artistic expression is not the only way to unleash the Soul. There are countless other ways to express in various areas such as serving, teaching, caring, giving and sharing. Or in diverse occupations and careers.

The point is this: The Observer may abolish “stinkin thinkin” and envy of the Creator by choosing to do that which they desire to do with passion, authenticity, unapologetically, purposefully, and without expectation or reciprocity. Thereby unleashing the Soul, such that the single most important aspect of that which unites us is no longer hidden, but shining brightly for the entire world to experience!

You see, at the end of the day, good, bad, or indifferent we are a reflection of what we don’t see (at least not with the natural eye). If you can’t see the good in someone else, I expect you can’t see the good in yourself. And any Optometrist will tell you that a human who can’t see is BLIND!

CeleXy (aka C. Toles-Grayson RN BSN)